Courtship vs. Dating: What's the Difference?

05.06.2019

Our world and things we know about it are in constant movement. Stereotypes are constantly developing as well as the ways in which we approach social interactions and life in general. The same goes for dating and everything that has to do with it. Only a decade ago online dating wasn’t that much of a thing, it wasn’t all that popular and it was, at the very best, quite a niche way to meet other people. Only a few years after that, online dating became quite popular, and here we are in 2019, online dating is at its peak. Older generations may perceive it as a nice alternative to meeting people in real life, they are busy and probably don’t have enough time to do it. But when it comes to all the young people that can’t imagine their lives without the Internet – online dating is pretty much the only way to meet other people.

And this is when history repeats itself, the new ways of dating are quite convenient, but there are lots of people who find this way of dating to be soulless, unromantic, and wrong. This is why the old traditions of courting are coming back and developing into the new ways of dating. And this is where the entire dating versus courting begins, is there even a difference between these two concepts? Today we will talk about courting, the difference between courting and dating, and why it may be something you are looking for. Let’s start off by comparing courting versus dating.

What Is the Difference Between Dating and Courting?

Let’s start off by figuring out the difference between courting and dating. Courtship versus dating may seem identical, and we would say that they are, in fact, synonyms, yet they are different on the fundamental level, they hold different meanings in them. The entire courting vs dating debate is quite a difficult one, but we will do our best to be as unbiased as we can.

The word “dating” can be interpreted in lots of different ways, depending on your perception of what “dating” is. It is very much subjective and mostly depends on your personal experiences and beliefs. But, in general, dating is a period during which people develop their relationship, they go out to different establishments and ideally, try to spend much time with each other. Yet the very concept of “dating” has some rather sexual undertones to it, it feels like the point of dating is to get to bed as fast as possible, at least it’s the way how it is portrayed in the media. And this is ultimately the wrong way to do get to know a person.

“Courting,” on the other hand, is different. The difference between dating and courting is that “dating” doesn’t focus on any stage of a relationship between two people, while “courting” is about the most initial stage of a relationship, during which two people get to know each other, they do their best to spend as much time together as possible to make sure that they have made the right choice in terms of choosing a partner. There is obviously the religious aspect to courtship, some religions perceive this period as something sacred, and different theists have their own ways of courting for each other, which largely depend on the gender roles of a given religion. Another difference between courting and dating is that “courting” is not a new thing, as you might guess, it goes back to the ancient history, and it is just as relevant to those who are interested in establishing long-term relationships. And while all the old movies and romance stories of the past may look corny right now because of the ways people tried to court for each other, as we’ve already mentioned, courting has evolved throughout the years, and it is perhaps the most effective way of dating. Sure, there are lots of other differences between courtship vs dating, but let’s not drag out this issue as the essence should be clear at this point. 

Now that we’ve talked about a great deal about the difference between dating and courtship, let’s look into some reasons why it might be a thing for you.

Here's Why Courting Might Be For You

The most essential part of courting is being honest with your partner. It might be quite contrary to the modern ways of dating that tell people to spend lots of money on getting dressed and adapting your habits and behavior to increase your chances to get laid. Courting is not a game, there are no winners, it’s not a casino, it’s about being true to your partner and doing your best to get to know them.

Everyone who has ever used a dating service understands their main selling point, which is their convenience, there is no need to go outside and spend your time. You can also date multiple people at the same time. In courting – you can’t do that, and it’s not a limiting factor, it is valuable to the process. Courting allows you to focus all of your attention and all of your heart on one specific person.

The Family aspect. This may be quite an intimidating factor to some people, especially men, but getting to know your partner’s parents is an exciting event which is crucial to the success of your future relationship. Your interactions with your partner’s family are very important, it will only make you two come closer, and your bond will get stronger.

Now that we know the difference between dating vs courtship and the latter’s appeal, let’s look into some tips that you should remember.

Courtship Tips

How to Court a Girl?

• Give her compliments

To say a right compliment is a form of art in itself. But it is simply not enough to tell a girl that her tits look nice and her buttocks are to die for. You should avoid any form of perverted comments during the courting period, this is especially important when it comes to compliments. Another thing to keep in mind is that compliments should be modest, and they should come at the right time. If it seems to you that she has spent lots of time doing her makeup or picking the right outfit for your date – comment on it. Some women may spend up to 5 hours preparing for a date, trying to eliminate the slightest issues with their image.

• Learn to make surprises

If you are still puzzled on how to court a girl, there is yet another important rule that you should remember: ladies tend to possess various childish traits of character. What do kids love more than anything? That’s right, that would be surprises and all sorts of different presents. Thus, if you truly want to make the courting period unforgettable for your girlfriend – you have to put some elbow grease into it. However, don’t worry, there are lots of ways to do it. You can invite her for a walk to a place that she has never been to. Another great option is to try out some new sport or hobby and do it together (rafting, if it is a warm season outside the window, or ice-skating, if it is winter outside). And yeah, courting is probably not the base stage of a relationship to try out parachuting.

• Be witty

According to polls of sociologists, girls, above everything else, appreciate a man’s sense of humor. Ambiguous jokes about the level of intelligence of blondes just won’t cut it! However, think about how important the ability to make your lady laugh in any situation may turn out to be. To be able to make a girl laugh during the darkest moments of her life is one of the most crucial talents a man can possess. Sure, you might think that you are not the wittiest guy around, and you have no experience being an actor, yet it is never too late to try. And what if you do have this talent, but you just don’t know it yet?

• Meeting your parents

For most girls, meeting parents is an important sign of the seriousness of your intentions. You are not sure of your seriousness, but you don't want to offend a girl, do you? It does not matter, you should just prepare your parents in advance for the fact that tomorrow you will bring a potential bride to dinner. Make sure that you are serious about her and don’t let your parents spoil the day.

How to Court a Guy?

• Do not be too intrusive

First of all, any girl should remember the main rule of courting a man, it is about unobtrusiveness. All compliments, looks, touches should be accidental during the courting period. This means that you should not be overly obsessive as well as too clingy. It may sound great, but men have their own limits. Such behavior will cause a man to reject you altogether and, most likely, the man of your dreams will flee in fear, even without saying goodbye. To prevent such a situation from happening, remember that a man, first of all, is a conqueror by nature, and he loves it when he is the pursuer, the one who shows attention to a girl, so try to show your interest carefully and unobtrusively. Secondly, behave naturally, it is pleasant to any person when the attention to them comes from the heart.

• Make compliments

Let’s just agree on something, not only girls like to receive compliments. Male self-love, in its design, is much broader and more complex and, of course, requires more attention to it. It happens that men do need to receive lots of compliments. Of course, they should not be too weird, “Honey, you look so attractive today. You smell so tasty today.” (although there are a number of men who will be overjoyed by such praise). Men need to be fed with pleasant phrases that praise their work, hobbies, sporting achievements and, most importantly, the mind. Women should devote a lot more attention to the latter and always remember that a man considers himself not only stronger than his woman but also smarter. So, if you want to win men's attention, do not forget to emphasize their penetrating mind.

• Be caring

Inside even the most seemingly strong, hairy, and intimidating man is a little boy, who just wants to be heard, who wants to complain about his life, work, and other failures. Naturally, in the eyes of his friends, he cannot appear as a man who is in constant pain and suffering, and then, when there is no one left to talk to, their pain gets only stronger. But when a man is accompanied by a woman that likes and understands him – it’s a completely different story.