Dating Someone with Depression: Helping and Understanding Your Partner

19.12.2017

Girls are much more often exposed to various depressive conditions and moods than guys are. So, let's talk about how you can help your beloved come out of a depression.

Signs Of Depression In Your Partner: How To Recognize The Problem In Advance

Here are the signs of depression in women you may notice:

1. The first one of warning signs of depression is when it seems to you that your girl takes offense without any reason, she shuts you out and does not want to communicate.
2. She is in a bad mood all the time. She puts a smile on, but in a few minutes she is sad again.
3. You often hear her saying "I do not want to live," "I have no reason to live," "I do not know what to do," "it makes no sense, everything is useless," "I have nothing to do, "I'm bored", etc.

Well, you know what are the signs of depression now. The next thing you need is to be able not to exhilarate the state of her mind.

Depression is usually facilitated by the following factors:

• Hormonal changes (a disruption of hormonal balance in the body or changes that come from the menstrual cycle).
• Diseases or poor health (this may be an insignificant disease you can see obviously, or something you cannot see, for example female health problems (I doubt you can see that coming).
• Failures at work, in hobbies, in social activities.
• Problems with communication with friends, relatives, colleagues, with a husband or a boyfriend. Especially when quarrels become your frequent guest.
• Emotional stress due to some life circumstances (accidents, social pressure, insults, neurotic passengers in transport).
• Holidays! It may sound surprising but according to statistics, 86 % of women sum up the results of what they have done in their life before holidays, such as new year or birthday. The thing is that they compare the results with what was planned: with their dreams and inner desires. Let’s say if a girl is single despite the fact that she had been dreaming to get married by the age of 25, she will be especially frustrated on the eve of Valentine's Day on February 14.
• Alcoholic intoxication. Alcohol cannot help you fight depression. The consequences of alcoholic intoxication may be even worse than the depression itself. Well, both states may be cured, so don’t let your girl down.

If after all you have read above you still want to help your beloved fight depression, you may choose one of the following strategies. However, if you see that all your attempts to help her fail you should probably call the doctor and let experts help your beloved. Don’t feel desperate, there is always a way out.

How To Help Someone Who Is Depressed: Should We Call The Doctor?

Pets help fight depression

Those who have a fluffy friend with four paws know that they can change your life totally and make it bright and cheerful. The major inhabitants of our apartments, except insects, are cats and dogs. And, according to psychologists, person’s love for a cat or a dog is tightly linked to one’s inner psychotype. In other words, each of us has its own cat or dog inside us. The symbol of a dog is its devotion to the master while the symbol of a cat is freedom and independence. That is why when choosing a pet, we often project our inner desires. So don’t be surprised if her pet is so much similar to its master.

Since we are considering ways to overcome depression and stress, let’s pay attention to simple domestic cats first. There was a goddess of the moon, fertility, and procreation in ancient Egypt her name was Elurus and she had the head of a cat. The cat for Egyptians was inviolable, it was worshiped, being a sacred animal. In ancient Rome, the cat was a symbol of freedom and independence, it was depicted next to the goddess of freedom Libertas. Then the black period in the life of these graceful animals came: cats were burned at the stakes, because people saw witches in them. Poor animals… very soon mankind was punished for their cruelty – the plague spread by the hordes of rats and mice and took away millions of lives. Their immense reproduction was caused by the absence of their main enemy – the cat.

Today, times have changed. In Japan, cat figures are at the gates of the house as a symbol of comfort and home. In Russia, the first one to enter a new house is a cat. Cats are very sensitive animals - they feel good and bad places in the apartment, and often predict dangers. You will hardly find a family living near the Vesuvius without a cat.

The amazing abilities of cats have been tested many times in various studies. It was proven that cats provided serious help to people suffering from mental illnesses, heart disorders, brain injuries, and even contributed to the complete healing of alcoholics and drug addicts. They help hypertensive people and people who have had a heart attack normalizing their pressure and pulse.

Studies conducted in psychiatric institutions showed that taking care after the cat restored self-confidence in patients, reduced physical arousal to the level achieved by weekly relaxation exercises, and finally, the unique nature of cats, its independence, proved to be a very important factor of treatment. Dogs as more emotionally dependent on human beings, susceptible to human feelings, cannot be the same healers, because they are adopting the emotional excitability of a person quickly. The cat and its owner are bound by quite different freeing ties. The free will is much more important for peace of mind.

Unlike people, they never cheat and flatter, conveying their devotion by mute signals - rubbing patients legs, arching their backs. Such carelessness explains the medical talents of cats. It turned out that cats are magnificent, unique experts in responding to touch. A person has a natural desire to pet a cat , and when we dip our hands into thick hair it feels easier. This energy exchange helps a person find a long-awaited peace. By the way, the method is called "Pet facilitated therapy". Another curious fact is that he-cats, according to scientists, relieve stress more effectively than she-cats.

Thus, if you are wondering how to help a depressed person, buy him or her a cat or a kitten. But make sure they are not allergic to cats. Otherwise you probably find another solution to how to help a depressed girlfriend.

Aromatherapy against depression

Another great idea on how to help someone depressed is aromatherapy. Aroma oils go through the skin and get into the blood, spreading throughout the whole body. Our nose and membranes help aroma oils get into the brain and affect our mood directly, as it reaches the brain parts responsible for emotions.

There are many ways to use essential oils: you can breathe their scent from the bottle, spray then in the room, use them for massage, but the most common and effective is the aroma lamp. Aromolamp is a small (often porcelain or ceramic) vessel, having a burning candle in the lower part and water with a few drops of oil on top of it. Heating makes the smell of the oil spread quickly enough throughout the room and is doing so until the water boils out.

There is a huge amount of oils or their mixtures that can be used to fight depression. The most popular are: anise, orange, basil, bergamot, oregano, spruce, jasmine, cedar, coriander, lavender, lemon, mandarin, lemon balm, peppermint, rose, rosemary. Aromatherapists do not recommend using the same oil or a mixture of oils for too long – it may diminish their effectiveness. Bathtubs with a few drops of oil perhaps have the most beneficial and soothing effect on the state of mind.

Dating Someone Who Is Depressed: 5 Things To Consider

1. If you are dating a depressed girl, you need to have a frank conversation with her. Even if she doesn’t want to talk and asks you to leave claiming that everything is all right but something is definitely wrong with her. You should also know that deep in her heart she wants someone to help her, she wants someone to listen to her, to show her way out. Just tell your girl how much you care about her and how important her well-being and happiness are to you. Say that you’re ready to do everything to help her. Let her know that all you need her to do right now is to be open, that’s it. Try to explain that you cannot help her unless she is totally open with you and starts telling you what it is that she is so worried about. She starts telling you, you listen carefully and you come up with a solution together. Dating someone who is depressed is hard but your efforts are worth it. This stage is the most difficult, but it cannot go any further without it!

2. Being aware of her problems you should have enough courage to solve them. I don’t say that you should go buy her an apartment, cure her relative, have a fight with her college professor or find a well-paying job for her. This is nonsense, of course. BUT! You should try to solve them inside her head. Don’t know how to do it? It’s simple. Look at her problem with a fresh eye. Say what problems can be solved and what can’t be. To tell the truth, I don’t know a problem that cannot be solved one way or another. Therefore, take a piece of paper and write down the major problems. Imagine that you are gods and write down the solution for each problem. Afterwards, decide on your specific actions on that matter together. To tell the truth, dating while depressed is not a rare phenomenon, so pull yourself together and help your beloved.

3. Assure your girl that life helps out those who think positively and act creatively. Now she has to transform all her problems into desires. Take another sheet. For example, if your girl is bored with the lack of personal space, you should come up with the following record: a cozy studio apartment for two people located in the city center. Let her visualize it. After the wish sheet is done, burn it together or throw it away, or rip it.

4. Next, you need a real plan. Take another piece of paper (a big one). On every sheet we are laying out a plan to achieve the desired. The most important thing is to make the plan stick to reality and abilities. Let her desires guide you when choosing methods to achieve her goals. If you are dating a depressed person who is on the way out of depression, you should know that goals and desires are not life, but results of life. And life is just the way we go to our goals. Therefore this way is a precious thing. These sheets, with desires and plans, are better to keep in a safe place and make a digital comfy so that you can look at them whenever you want on your smartphone.

5. So, you have all tasks done. You have made a wish list and planned how to achieve the desired goals. Now, say that you are there. She should feel your support. It is important for her to feel at this moment that she is not alone. And the last but not the least important thing when dating a depressed woman – you should switch her attention. Give her mind some space to breathe and time to comprehend the information received. You can watch movies, go for a walk, or have sex.

Now, you know that there are a zillion of tips that will help you go through this. Try hard and don’t give up!