How to Be Successful in Bed after 50

23.08.2017

As years go by, and we get older and older, everything changes. But one thing remains the same: our sexual desires. The only problem is that the way we make love becomes different once we turn 50: bright colors fade, and the process itself gets calmer and boring. And that’s where we start to lose interest in intimate relationships. But not all is lost, and the flame of love can burn even brighter. We just need to know how to light it.

If you think that after 50, it’s time to forget about sex, then you should think again. You’re still able to have sex, and you need to do this more often than ever before. Besides, a lot of couples in their fifties claim that their sex lives got much better with age. You have a lot more free time for privacy, and you don’t feel uncomfortable with your partner anymore. We’ll give you eight tips on how to stay great in bed even in your 50’s.

Dating and sex after 50: what are the main peculiarities?

Some people, stepping into the dating arena in their 50’s or more, don’t know what to expect from sexual relationships at such age. In general, most aspects are as same as they were back when they were young – communication still means a lot, and first sex is awkward. However, age makes some things different. Here’s what you need to know about dating after 50.

Your partner has more emotional baggage

Fifty years is a significant part of life, so it’s no surprise that your potential partner has some emotional baggage, like unsuccessful marriage or a broken heart. This can make your intimate relationship more dramatic. You need to decide if you’re ready to deal with all that drama, as it can become a real problem on your way to the bedroom. Ask yourself if it’s worth it. But there’s another side of the coin: your partner will indeed have certain emotional baggage, but you have some as well. Don’t forget about that. You too may have kids and a disappointed ex-spouse, so try to treat your companion with understanding.

Singles over 50 choose partner of their age

Another peculiarity of over 50 dating: people of this age (mostly men) often look for partners among peers. Most of them want to see a companion of the same age by their side because they need someone to share their experience. It’s much easier to start a sexual relationship with a person who understands and even has the same problems as you. That’s why dating and sex after 50 become much more personal than ones in your 20’s and 30’s.

The old-fashioned rules of dating still work

Back in the old days, people used to pay more attention to dates. Men were supposed to make the first step, asking his lady out while she let him to take the lead. When dating a 50-year-old, these rules still work. You can be sure that your companion will appreciate the restaurant you choose and wine you order and thank you for the evening.

Your partner may need emotional support

A lot of people dating after 50 have had loving families, but now they are divorced or widowed and seek companionship they once had. But their strive for emotional support may become a bit confusing. Let’s say, you found yourself a companion and created a strong emotional bond with her. She may start thinking something like “He really likes me,” while you’re looking for nothing more than support and intimacy. And it’s the only reason why you’re together. Your partner will eventually assume that you’re in a relationship, but in fact, you’re not. So try to make it clear that you don’t want anything serious occurring between you and your woman.

Sex becomes much more intimate

People over 50 love sex. Well, there’s no need to tell you this, right? Although it’s better to discuss with your partner what you’re looking for: casual sex or monogamous relationship. Besides, there’s another thing becoming widespread among 50 and older age group: STDs. The thing is that casual dating is gaining so much popularity among older people that many of them already have more than one sexual partner. But at the same time, a lot of 50+ daters don’t use any type of contraception.

Health problems

Health problems are the thing people in their 50 often forget about. They think that over 50 dating sites are full of models and sportsmen. But things don’t work this way in real life. A lot of people from 50+ age category do have health problems, and some of them are pretty serious. The most common ones are heart diseases and diabetes. But let’s not forget about your own health. By the time they reach 50, a significant number of men come across a situation when seeing and touching a female body is not enough for sexual arousal.

It takes more effort to make “him” work again. And once you concentrate on something else or get distracted by a phone ring, “he” loses fitness again. The thing is that such problems are normal, concerning the age. But a lot of guys mistakenly believe that these are the signs of erectile dysfunction and become depressed, which makes the problem even worse. Due to anxiety and stress, your blood can’t reach penis, significantly reducing your chances on having a healthy erection.

Three reasons to have more sex after 50

Here are a few advantages of dating over 50.

Sex will make you look a bit younger. According to the research, conducted by neuropsychologists from Scotland, older couples that have sex at least three or four times a week look ten years younger than those, who don’t have regular sex. This happens partially because of the hormones released during the intercourse.

According to another recent study, frequent sex reduces the risk of developing prostate cancer in men aged 40-80. In scientists’ opinion, infrequent sexual intercourses don’t allow carcinogenic secretions to get excreted from the prostate. In plain English, you need to “clean your pipes” as often as possible.

Sex allows for better sleep, which is definitely a plus, especially for those of us, who have to fight insomnia and other sleep disorders. During orgasm, your body releases the hormone called oxytocin that calms you down and decreases the level of cortisol that causes stress by affecting the areas of your brain responsible for anxiety and fear.

How to be successful in bed after 50: essential tips

Now let’s get down to some advice on how to stay active in bed and make the most of the sex after fifty. Some of these tips for successful sex may work better than others.

1) Always try to add something new

It doesn’t matter how many partners you have – you need to spice up your intimate life from time to time. You can start with something small, for example, with changing your sex schedule. If you got used to having sex at night, try doing it in the morning: this will add some new sensation without changing your habits dramatically. Here are a few more tips:

• Do this while taking a shower together
• Learn the basics of erotic massage; this will surprise your partner
• Don’t limit yourself to the bedroom only
• Try a couple of new positions
• Start your night of love from creating the romantic atmosphere; this always works

2) Exercise and watch what you eat

As you know, successful sex is not leisure; it’s more like an active rest that takes a lot of strength. Here’s why visiting the gym can help you achieve success in sex.

• Your muscles get stronger. No one likes traumas during sex, especially when it comes to pulling muscles. So it’s time to pump some iron.
• It literally makes you happier. During exercises, your brain releases certain chemicals that improve your mood. Sex becomes much more pleasant when you feel swell.
• You look great. Regular and frequent exercises keep your body in shape, giving you self-confidence and positively affecting your sexual life.

3) Let the doctor examine you

Sex after 50 is often associated with certain health risks, especially if you have diabetes or high blood pressure. You may also need some pills to make everything work right. In this case, it’s important to check if your heart is functioning great and ready for the pills. Besides, erectile dysfunction may be an indicator of a heart disease.

4) Consult a psychologist

Not all sexual issues are connected to physical health. For instance, problems with erection or low libido can be a result of your emotional state. In this case, you should consider visiting a psychologist. Sure, you have to convince yourself first, as it’s not easy to accept that your sexual problems can be caused by psychological factors. Anyway, a professional’s help won’t hurt.

5) Find out what your partner wants from sex

Sometimes both partners’ sexual drives don’t match. So, if you have a permanent partner, try to find out what’s important to them in terms of sex and find a solution that will satisfy your needs. Women over 50 are often concentrated on the intimate part of sex, while men are more concerned with their erection. That’s why it’s better to understand what both of you want from sex.

6) Talk to your partner in bed

Communication is the main attribute in all kinds of relationships, and sex after fifty is all about communication. Women would like to have a man, who can understand their desires, while men seek women that don’t hesitate to say what they want. However, both sexes find it equally attractive when a partner is not ashamed of her/his body and doesn’t feel uncomfortable from talking about her/his sexual desires. Besides, as you know, women are not the same, and each of them needs a special approach. And the best way to get your partner’s “user’s manual” is to have a long and sincere chat.

You should also talk to your companion if you have any concerns and doubts about your intimate relationship, for example, if some of your desires have changed. If both of you don’t like where your personal life goes but can’t solve the problem on your own, consider turning to a sex therapist’s help. A professional will definitely sort everything out.

7) Stay confident in bed

Any person, regardless of age and experience, will tell you how great it is to find a partner who is confident in bed. Both men and women cherish those, who truly understand how sexy they are. As we get older, we no longer have time to convince someone that they “still got it.” We want someone who is OK with their body. After all, we’re over 50. We have dimples and wrinkles all over our body, so there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

8) Choose comfortable positions

Sex after 50 can be uncomfortable and even painful, as our bodies don’t get any younger. So if back pains or arthritis keep bothering you, switch positions (there are hundreds of them, so you’ll definitely find one that suits you best) or use pillows. Have sex when you feel better. Use some painkillers or take a warm bath to calm your muscles down.

Sum up

As we turn 50, our expectations towards sexual partners change. We get wiser, gain more experience, and begin to understand what we want in bed. We find out what types of relationships work best for us, and which ones don’t work at all. So it’s not the time to quit dating and sex. Follow these tips, talk to your companion to find out what she wants, and learn something new. Life after 50 is just getting started.