How to Deal with a Controlling Ex Wife

02.09.2018

Our life consists of meetings and partings. A divorce happens for various reasons, and the most common of them is that the marriage has outlived itself. It is difficult to argue with the statement that a divorce is a stress for both spouses, that it is almost always accompanied by scandals and the division of property. Of course, there are exceptions, but this is not a happy occasion since no destruction can be happiness, even when the former spouses live better in new families. However, former wives, most often, turn to their ex-spouses for help in domestic matters or because of loneliness, or out of habit. How a man should treat this and how he has to deal with ex wife problems. Is it worth to support the ex wife?

It is considered that the whole burden falls on a woman after the divorce. She is the one who suffers more. She is experiencing depression. She stays with her children, and financial problems are added. But it is also difficult for a man to divorce. Simply, he does not show his emotions, so as not to appear weak in the eyes of others.

High relationships or addiction?

Let's start the topic from the very situation when the marriage has outlived itself. It happens that the couple lose interest in each other. If this marriage has no children, if there is nothing to divide, then everything is simple: they cease living together and everyone lives their own life. However, these are not all points of intersection between a man and a woman. There are years they have lived together, there are common friends. You cannot offer your friends the choice of "either I, or she," thus putting them in an awkward position.

If there was no great resentment when divorcing and you meet your ex-wife on the street and do not feel unrest, if you are not tormented by memories of your life together, then you can continue to communicate with her, but somewhat on a different level. Over time, many ex-spouses are able to maintain friendly relations or create a semblance of them. To be happy for the happy life of an ex in the new family. Does it look like an idyll? You may ask how to deal with the ex wife drama. So, whatever you need is to be moderate in such former relationships.

But, as a rule, life is different: one of the former spouses wants to forget about living together as quickly as possible and not to maintain any relations.

Dear men, if you understand that you fell in such a trap, organized by your ex-wife, immediately run away, break all sorts of relationships. After all, over time, they will turn into pathological dependence, which will inevitably lead to depression. Do not pay attention to requests for help in household matters, for this there are master professionals. Remember that you have no obligations anymore regarding her and you are quite self-consistent and independent person.

Common children are the connecting link

All that was written above relates to families in which there are no common children. If you have children in common, then if you want to never see your ex-wife, you will never be able to say goodbye forever. You will have to endure together common anxieties, common pleasures for many years. In this situation, you must try very hard to build the right relationship, as one of the most important parental tasks is to create the greatest possible comfort for the child.

If the former wife continues to attack you with calls and requests, you need to understand that it's not just about household assistance. It means she wants you back. If your decision to live separately is unshakable, you will have to speak frankly with her one day and call things by their proper names. And do not be naive hoping that the problem will resolve itself. Every time you agree to help, the ex-wife takes it as your desire to start over.

What can be worse and more dangerous than a false hope? Talk to her calmly and firmly, state your responsibilities towards the child, as well as your material contribution. Show her that now you have only a business relationship. However, do not try to start this conversation immediately after the divorce, when passion rages and sick wounds hurt. It is better to wait until everything settles down.

What if the previous marriage is a hindrance to the current?

As a rule, current wives are nervous and irritated if the former wife calls. The woman is jealous of her husband's former wife. And the current wife blames the rival for the fact that the former husband does not want to communicate with her. One can say even a hundred times that forbidding her husband to maintain friendly relations with his ex-wife is a proprietary manner of behavior that arises from the lack of confidence in relationships. The current wife does not speak straight out, but she is visibly straining.

A smart man will make the right choice between the peace of a loved one and "high relations" with an ex-spouse. It should be clarified once again that we are talking about those families where there are no common children. Children do not deserve suffering because of parents, if they exist. You need to dot all the i’s before the creation of a new family and tell your woman that she will have to accept your being in the former family to support at least business relations with the former wife. If your current wife is sincere in relation to you and trusts you, she will most likely agree with you.

Another question that arisesis how to deal with a jealous ex wife. Let the former know that you do not stand by her and do not have anything in common.

• Try to explain that she must accept the fact of the final break and admit that you have the right to organize your personal life.
• Abstract from the former relationship, turn them into a memory.
• Thank the failed partner in life for all the good things, for pleasant minutes or years of life.
• If the ex wife is unfaithful to you, forgive her. If she hurts you, show generosity instead.

All these actions will not only help to cope with jealousy of the former life companion, but also prepare you for a new relationship that will be more successful.

Jealousy is a complex feeling, even more a bundle of emotions, which are so closely intertwined that it is extremely difficult to find a leading thread and unwind the web of threads. It is important to understand that jealousy is not a synonym for "love."

How to deal with a manipulative ex wife

Although they say that life is like a book, it is impossible to tear out a page from it. Even if you feel unpleasure remembering your family life, or you do not want to see your ex-wife, and you cannot avoid this, try to build the right relationship with her and do not let her manipulate you. The main rule for dealing with manipulators is to make feelings dead and to reason consciously. When people try to beg for sympathy, do not give in to it. Reason logically. Is it specifically your fault in what happens in the life of the former? Are you personally blamed for what happened? If not, then there is nothing to blame yourself for. And no one has the right to manipulate the non-existent fault of another person. Real reasons to blame yourself are much less than trying to imagine manipulators. It is the best way to deal with a manipulative ex wife.

How to deal with a bitter ex wife

Be delicate even after the divorce. Of course, if people come to a divorce, then the feelings are heated, they irritate each other, and their differences are not solvable. That is, they both reached the boiling point. In such a situation, it is difficult to control oneself and not to express out loud your claims and opinions about the former spouse. In response, of course, you will receive the same thing, because she also got dissatisfied with you. But it is better to speak out if this happens if you are on friendly terms. If this is not the case, then you can turn to a psychologist. And put off talking with your ex-wife till the time when the passions subside and you become calm about each other. This is especially important if you have common children. It should be remembered that the absence of children is not an excuse for offensive words about the wife, for her humiliation. There was love between you in former times. If your wife has changed for the worse as a result of your family life, then it's not only her fault but yours too.

How to deal with a narcissistic ex wife

Come with a view of the life of a narcissistic woman. If this person is really important to you, and you are important to yourself, you need to accept her narcissism. But this is not the case. All in all, former relationships do not play an important role in your life anymore. Opt for superficial communication.

Narcissists like to manipulate, because of which you have to defend yourself. It's better simply to accept that your ex wife is trying to use you thus you have to refuse to participate in that game. You should forget about your ego to make communication with a narcissistic wife possible. Do not try to argue, explain that you are not guilty, and do not spend a lot of emotional effort on it.

How to deal with an ex wife who won't let go

People like this woman can be called "pursuers from the past." They do not recognize that they no longer have the same rights to their ex-husbands. Naturally, they turn the life of a man into hell.

• They do not recognize your right to private life and violate it.
• They try to cause a sense of guilt in their former partner, driving a wedge between him and his current wife.
• They parazite on your time and energy, like vampires.
• They pretend that they do not notice your relationships.
• They blackmail to forbid seeing your children.
• They turn children against both of you.
• Arrange the former spouse sexual harassment.

If you have a "persecutor from the past," you must convince yourself that for the sake of happiness you must completely free yourself from the past, grant emotional dependence on your ex-wife and once and for all protect your relationships from her influence. If the problem is chronic, you need to stop all contacts with the former. For example, after visiting the children, do not enter the house even for ten minutes so as not to give her an extra reason for hysterics. Let the children leave the house themselves. Just wait in the car. Somehow, you need to put an end to your past relationships. And now you know how to deal with a difficult wife.

A controlling ex wife

Control is accompanied by obsessive behavior of the woman, constant questions and other negative moments. Often, wives understand the absurdity of their behavior, but they cannot cope with this on their own. To do this, you need to pacify your ex wife, making it clear that you are not her property. First of all, you are a person, a formed person who is able to make decisions, make mistakes, do whatever you want.

How to deal with an angry ex wife

Apparently your ex wife has not found a partner yet. She needs to establish her personal life as soon as possible. This can be done only when someone can help with the children. And by the way, if you have a suitable lonely man in mind, try to introduce him to the former. Who knows, maybe you'll be lucky and your wife from the past will leave you alone.

All the advice mentioned above will help you finally handle ex wife drama. First of all, you need to understand why a woman is actively present and involved in your life. Perhaps she feels guilty before you, so she tries to remain a friend and supports you in every possible way. If there are no obligations in the form of children and other cares, then the husband should pin down the woman to the fact and warn that now any attempts to get into your new life will be accompanied by rudeness.