Lack of Emotional Connection in a Relationship and Its Effects

28.09.2018

What is an Emotional Connection

Among the whole gamut of psychological response, emotions are of the material nature. Strengthening the relationship between two living souls on the basis of various subjective sensations is called emotional bonding, which often remains undefined. How to create an emotional connection? It is very important to spend time with your loved one in order to form an emotional connection – spending time is the first and major priority. And in this case, we are not talking about the time when you are in the process of acquaintance. It's about your usual life together, you should have as many situations as possible to spend time together. It is best to spend time together in relaxed situations, in a pleasant environment, with a good combination of circumstances, in order to enjoy a joint pastime so that you can easily and openly talk about your feelings, about life, and share your intimate things.

Find common activities that can inspire both of you, or try to understand and love the passion of your partner, and you will be the first one with whom your partner has a deep emotional connection, most likely. You have to know your partner, whether it’s establishing emotional connection with a woman or emotional connection with a man. It is difficult to connect on an emotional level if you do not show interest in what is interesting to your partner. Sometimes this interest and curiosity can be formed, if you want, to have more common topics to discuss with your loved one. You yourself do not notice how your partner’s interest suddenly turned into your own interest. This exchange of feelings and emotions can only bring you closer to each other. You will feel great pleasure in giving your partner ample opportunities to reveal your new facets and joint interests.

How Important Is an Emotional Connection in a Relationship?

Each of us is more or less is emotionally potent, which means that he or she strives to share love, happiness, sadness and many other vivid emotions with someone else in the oral or physical component of the emotional connection.

If you are a little observant, then you know that a relationship without emotions is like a journey, without a destination. Basically, this happens when two people of the opposite sex start a relationship only to receive some sexual pleasures. In this case, an emotional connection between two people doesn’t exist. This, perhaps, can simply be called a compromise, which as a result brings only disappointment. Sex without love can only go as far as your sexual imagination goes, and then what? To enrich this sexual imagination – you find a different partner, leaving the previous one behind. And the emotional connection was never established and never even thought of. That is the biggest difference between love and sex, side by side, as they say, standalone.

With an emotional connection you have sex to bring pleasure to your partner, you want your partner and you want to satisfy your desire of THAT person. When there is no emotional connection – you strive to have sex in order to satisfy yourself, your personal desires, in whatever way or shape they come.

True love is not proprietary love, it is respect and admiration of a partner, and it is not used to satisfy one's needs. In dependent relationships, the partner is perceived as a property.

Emotional connection in a relationship brings a sense of satisfaction and a sense of harmony in life. With its presence, there is little to no anxiety and hostility in the relationship. When there is no emotional connection in marriage - there is no feeling of satisfaction and harmony, a lot of discontent and repressed anger, many claims to each other.

A truly loving emotional connection in marriage manifests itself in helping the beloved partner in self-realization, in being proud of his/her victories, being generous and caring towards them. Mature love says: "I can live without you, but I love you and therefore I want to be here with you." Emotionally-related people are merged with each other, each of them does not have a separate psychological territory. They are jealous, they are proprietors, they cannot live without each other - their communication is compulsory.

Signs of an Emotional Connection

Signs of an emotional connection are perhaps the hardest topic to dissect, it depends on a couple, on what, in their minds, is an emotional connection, but here is some broad general information.

Communication cannot be sufficiently reliable if you cannot feel each other, it makes it possible to hide your emotional experiences. Communication is strong if you are both connected and emotionally complement each other. You can never be emotionally associated with your partner if you do not understand him or her at any time, by any form of expression. This perception needs to be developed, it's enough just to be attentive to the mood of a loved one, to look into his/her eyes, that usually can tell you a lot, to observe his/her facial expressions. Your task is to find a way to make him/her feel, your inner state, which is dependent on her/him. There are a lot of tips – but the most important one is to just be observant. It is quite hard, but it is possible, if you have sincere feelings for the beloved.

Make it your strong point to listen to your partner. Try to be a good listener. Let your partner tell you everything, expressing freely his/her feelings. Do so that he/she entrusts you with the most intimate desires and fantasies, even if you are not very enthusiastic about them. Accept them with understanding and respect. Do not interrupt the partner with your questions, opinions, which sometimes rage inside of you. Do not indulge in any harsh advice. Take everything gently, even if you do not like something. Any sharpness will give rise to a closure and a loss of confidence in the dialogue. Be the best understanding listener - this is the best position for a good emotional connection between a man and a woman. Become the best friend for a loved one and than even the most extreme sexual fantasies he/she will discuss not with friends but with you, because you will become to him/her all at once all in one person.

Emotional Connection VS Physical Connection

Sex and emotional connection are different things, they go together, but they represent two fundamentally different approaches to a relationship.

When lovers have an emotional connection, they can talk about the most important and secret thoughts. If your other half has shared with you what they have never told anyone before, then he/she trusts you and has emotional affection. As a rule, it's easier for girls to express their feelings. Men are difficult to build such a deep connection immediately. They need time to make sure you get something in the long run or not. Physical connection doesn’t provide that, it’s just fleshy desires, no emotional connection is in sight.

To really understand and trust a person, you have to establish the deep emotional connection with someone. If you look at your loved one and understand what emotions and feelings he/she is experiencing, then, at least from your side of a relationship, you have achieved it, the emotional connection. Physical connection allows you to, at best, understand signs and emotions of what happens in bed, and only in bed, because that’s what your relationship is for, bed.

It often happens that visually a person is not particularly pleasant, but his/her personality and thoughts are close to you. This means that there is an emotional connection, but there is no physical connection. Sometimes the emotional connection is so strong that it creates a physical connection. It is not uncommon for people to really get on through the Internet. A man and a woman communicate for several weeks and do not know what they look like. But conversations are so pleasant and simple that it does not matter. At this stage, a real emotional connection is born. While it is possible to come from a physical connection to emotional connection during sex, it is easier and more likely to come the other way around.

If all your feelings that you ever experienced were just a physical connection, you would never feel that you are part of a relationship. You would know that you have someone with whom you can spend the night, but nothing more. Emotional connection is important in order to feel that you are part of something more.

Lack of Emotional Connection in a Relationship

In long-term relationships, the manifestation of an emotional connection can become a deficit, and the lack of such connection can be so tangible that the spouses begin to look for emotions on the side. The question of how to diversify family life, to bring bright emotions and emotional connection back into it, is very important for maintaining relations.

Often the problem is that people usually wait for the generation of emotions from a partner, and do not evoke or express them themselves. When a person becomes bored in a relationship, the easiest way out of this situation is to think about what it would be like to add new emotions to the relationship.

But here it is important to understand that only those activities that can cause emotions in you or yourself can help you, and not those in which you expect the partner's emotions to bubble. For example, to bring emotions into a relationship, prepare surprises for the spouse only if you like the very fact of giving. If you want to feed off the joy of the spouse when receiving the gift, then you should discuss this with him/her in advance and understand how he can be pleased or inspired by something like that. What causes emotions in you does not necessarily have to delight the spouse.

So, if you do not have enough emotions, it is worthwhile to sit down and make up a list of what causes emotions in you personally. It can be traveling abroad, trips with a tent to the forest or clubs, restaurants, interesting festivals and exhibitions. It is necessary to make this list without considering the interests of your husband or wife – first let it be only a list of your desires. Then discuss them with your partner, on which he/she agrees, and then go fulfill them.