Sex in a Long-Term Relationship: Ideas to Make It Even Better


How Important Is Sex for a Healthy Relationship?

When in our teens we are all about sex. We yearn for it, we think about it almost all the time. We all dream about either having many lovers or settle down with one person with whom we would have sex whenever we want. Rarely, one is that lucky to materialize the first dream, mainly because sooner or later you would come to the conclusion that while it may be interesting and flattering, it basically leads nowhere. But how lucky are those who've settled down? Here we might run into sad, indifferent, and quite cruel thing known as statistics. Statistics show that couples mainly engage in sex in a course of the first year of relationships. Soon, the daily routines come to lead the ball and people make choice in favor of sleeping with each other in the most literal way, rather than making love to each other. Does it lead us to the conclusion that sex is not important? To get the answer to the question, let's have a look at how important sex is in a relationship.

how often do couples have sex

Is Sex Important in a Relationship?

Well to cut a long story short – yes, sex is important for your relationship. But as you are here for details, check out the reasons why it is important.


Yes, we need passion. Think, the long-term relationship is possible only when your partner is a fusion of a lover and your best friend. In other words, someone who is a friend and with whom you can engage in passionate love. And sex is the manifestation of the passion between you. Sounds great, right? Now, imagine all that but excluding passion. What is left? That's right, friendship. Are you really into romantic relationships with someone whom you can't sleep with? Wow, that's what we call spiritual strength.

Killing the stress off

Well, basically you can't function well without sex... if you're not a monk or something. Sex helps relieve the stress. When you have sex, your body releases endorphins, which are also known as hormones of happiness. It helps to kill off the tension, and as a result, you function way better in your everyday life.

is sex important in a relationshipKeeping the connection

When you ask why sex is so important to men, it is believed that men connect with their partners via sex. Sex is the way to unite with a woman for men. And man's ego is very much connected with sex. What about women? Actually, the same, except for the ego. So, here we once again come to the conclusion that sex is vital and crucial for the relationship, as it builds an emotional connection between you. It doesn't mean that the emotional connection cannot exist without sex, it is more likely to start fading without it.

Healthy Sleep

Yep, after sex you sleep tight as a baby. Once again, it can be explained by the chemical reaction. Your body releases oxytocin after sex, the hormone, which helps you have a deep and healthy sleep.

Sex Bring Happiness

Here we once again turn to our sad, indifferent, and sometimes cruel friend Statistics. Despite its emotionless traits, our moody friend can bring some good news. According to statistics people who have sex are happier than those who don't. Although sex may be connected with male more than with female ego, still it boosts self-confidence in all the genders, and people have a better attitude to themselves.

How Often Should You Have Sex in a Relationship?

After reading everything mentioned above, you may start thinking that you should be having sex every day, but is it so? Have you ever wondered how often do couples have sex on average? Maybe it will help you understand how often should you have sex? Well, let's sink our teeth into it.

First of all, let's determine whether it is okay that after a few months or years after your relationship started, you need special occasions to have sex? Well, no. We have defined it when we were discussing how vital sex is for your relationships.

Well, now let's try to figure out how it all started and why? Probably, once you were in a wrong mood for sex, then you decided that your partner needs less sex than you. Okay, how often do women and men want sex? While it is believed that men have a stronger sex drive than women, it’s actually nothing by nonsense. Everything is very individual. There are thousands of women who want sex more than men, and there are thousands of men for whom sex several times a month is quite enough. There are men who are believed not to be satisfied enough by one partner, and there are women like that as well.

From here we can approach another question: how often should couples have sex? Unfortunately, there is no book that states that three times a week is just fine, while sex every day is too much. So, we can come up with a simple conclusion that the number of times a couple should have sex may differ greatly from couple to couple.

Role-Play-Can-Improve-Your-SexSo, what can you do to decide how much sex your couple needs in particular? First of all, you need to forget that “I guess my partner doesn't need that that much”. Forget about personal opinions. You are a couple, right? So, talk with each other. Discuss how often you want to have sex. Of course, it may sound frightening, as most likely you think that talks like that will ruin all romantic connection between you. But believe it or not, your romantic connection is most likely to die out there if you don't talk.

What you need is an honest and open communication on your sex issues. That's the only way to put things right. This is the way that you can discuss that the shortage of sex in your life has nothing to do with the fading desire to each other, but more with things that are going on in your everyday life. You work, family issues, and even more global issues, affect your sexual act. Moreover, an open dialog can help you come to a mutual conclusion on how much sex you need. You are more likely to separate when one of you wants to have sex every day or every two days, while another wants sex once a few months, and you are not talking about it.

How to Spice Up Your Couple's Sex Life?

What can really improve your sex life in long-term relationships is trying to spice it up. To cut a long story short, you need to experiment in order not to make your sex life boring. That is another reason why you might have stopped having sex. Both of you became overly predictable, and as a result, none of you has that burning desire for each other. As you both know exactly what to expect, you are no longer that interested in each other as in sexual partners. And the only solution to this problem is trying to spice up your sex life. Let's check out how to spice up your sex life.

Talk about your fetishes

Once again you need an honest talk. Tell each other what really turns you on and what makes you kinky. Nothing can improve your sex life and make you stronger as a couple than exchanging of sexual fantasies and trying to make them come true. While you may argue that your partner doesn't have any kind of fetish, come one. Deep down you know that each of us has this specific thing that turns us on. If the very idea of talking with your partner about fetishes confuses you, nobody is forcing you into asking him or her straightforwardly like “What are your fetishes?” You actually can turn your question into the suggestive mode. Ask your partner, is there anything special he or she always wanted but never tried in real life. Just think how sexy the discussion might be. This is the low start of spicing up your relationships.

sex positions to spice it up Role Play

One of the best things to spice up your sex life is role-playing. You can allow yourself to be whoever you want. You can create your own script and follow it performing this little show. Moreover, role-playing may be a more appropriate way to materialize your fetishes, as, you know, that's not exactly you. You are just playing the character who has those fetishes. Besides, roleplaying is a lot of fun and it can really improve your sex life in a long-term relationship.

Sex Positions to Spice It Up

Last, but not the least, learning new positions can really improve your sex life. As we've said before, it is better to experiment. So, check out those positions:

  • Reach for the Sky

You might have been enjoying the doggy-style position, just like millions of people around the world, but you could have happened not to try the reach-for-the-sky position. In this version of doggy-style, a male partner gets on his feet and stands up leaning over her. It will bring new sensations to both of you, as this position gives both partners a deeper feel.

  • Spooning

You like hugs from behind? Then you'll definitely like spooning. A female partner lies on her site while a male partner, while cuddling her, penetrates her from behind. With a lot of sensual touching and kissing, spooning is one of the most comfortable sex positions, which is perfectly suitable for long sex sessions.

  • Superhero

This position requires a lot of strength. The superhero position has female partner bend over a table, with a male partner getting inside her from behind, while holding her feet off the ground pushing himself in and out. The physical intensity gives both of the partners an adrenaline rush, which definitely helps in spicing up sexual life.

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