01.07.2019
Emotions are present at the birth of love. They contribute to securing the mutual desire of both partners for each other.
Emotional attraction can be defined in lots of different ways. It is the reason why people seek physical intimacy with their partners, and it is what gets formed during a relationship. It's the reason why two individuals are bound to each other.
To find out what emotional attraction is you have to know its importance in a relationship. Let’s say that you have just met a person, and the two of you want to have sex with each other, you aren’t that interested in each other’s personality, you just want physical intimacy. And it’s all fine and great until physical attraction ceases to exist, you have already discovered all the things about each other, and there is no more excitement in acts of physical intimacy.
Why is that? Well, as we’ve said, you two weren’t interested in each other as individuals, you were interested in only one thing that has an expiration date. And while we won’t tell you that love is eternal and all that stuff since it is not, one thing can be said for sure, an emotional attraction can withstand the test of time and bring more pleasure throughout the years. If you are physically attracted but not emotionally, don’t count on this relationship to be a long-lasting one, it is unlikely.
It is the ability to enjoy a person and all of the manifestations of their character with little to no regard to their physical appearance.
That may have been a little vague of a definition, mostly because of the nature of such a concept as “emotional attraction,” so let’s compare it to physical attraction to define what’s that.
This kind of attraction is initiated by people interacting with each other and observing a partner. If a person is interested in something that another person has told them, the way they told it, their personality, their character, their wits, all this gives rise to the emotional attraction. I want to see and hear more of my potential partner/friend/spouse/lover, do something together, get closer, learn something new about each other, etc.
With a physical kind of attraction, everything is more or less clear. We see a person or their physical manifestation, and we understand that this person is attractive to us externally. It is believed that when they find some external resemblance between each other: facial features, hair, similar body structure, manners, some common external features, they tend to find each other attractive. More often, men pick up partners who remotely resemble their mothers, and girls - respectively – their fathers. The mutual inclination is also often observed in people who, on the contrary, are opposed to each other in their external features. It is explained by the psychological mechanism of complementarity or the search for people who are not like you. A person does this to discover new things about life, new people, hobbies, interests, etc. Physical attraction creates a desire to get closer, to get to know a person better and, of course, the desire for sexual contact. In the context of emotional attraction, physical attraction can seem overwhelming. Some people are better than others at controlling their libido and their own psyche, this ability largely depends on a person’s age and character. Young people find it very hard to battle their own physical desires, while mature people find it a lot easier to do so.
Long and strong relationships are based not only on love, mutual respect, and perfect compatibility. Another essential component for achieving harmony is, as we’ve already figured out, an establishment of an emotional connection. The ability to listen to each other, empathize, express deep appreciation and spiritual intimacy - this is what allows us to truly enjoy a relationship. Emotional attraction triggers vary, and every love and relationship are very much different, but there are some common signs of emotional attraction that you should remember.
1. Awkward silence is not a thing
You do not need words to understand each other, and silence calms you rather than makes you depressed. If silence does not cause discomfort in your couple, you are lucky to be in this relationship, and you have achieved a great sense of harmony in a relationship. However, be careful since if most of your time is spent in silence, most likely, something goes wrong. Try to understand this problem and find out what prevents you from talking heart to heart, to exchange impressions and emotions.
2. Your touches are not only intimate
You embrace and kiss each other, and you experience both physical pleasure and an emotional one. Touching is a way to support a partner, to show your attention, love, and care, not just a way to bring physical pleasure to each other.
3. You are not afraid of distances
Working trips and lack of free time for dating make you feel sad and annoyed. But you do not think that during your absence a partner can spend the weekend with someone else. You are calm in letting your partner go on vacation with friends, and you do not monitor their social networks 24/7. Trust is the main difference between emotional connection and just physical attachment.
4. When you feel bad, you seek help from a partner
Signs of emotional attraction from a man are not always that prominent, but reliability is one of the most prominent signs of emotional attraction of men. Trouble at work, disagreements with parents, creative crisis, dissatisfaction with a certain aspect of a relationship can be among the problems, which you can discuss with a partner without hesitation. You are open to talking on various topics and are ready to appear in front of your partner in a bad condition, just wanting to talk about something. Your partner does the same. You are the first person to know about the troubles in their life, and you are the only one who can support them and provide them with a piece of advice when they need it.
5. It's hard for you to imagine life without this relationship
Despite the fact that you and your partner have a personal space, you have a lot in common, for example, interests, hobbies, friends. Relationships somehow penetrated into all the aspects of your life, and it’s really hard for you to imagine that once you were just strangers to each other just a few years/months ago.
Emotional connection is not born at first sight. It manifests itself over time when your personal life and the life of a partner begin to gradually intertwine. If you feel that you have not yet reached it, this is not a reason to break up a relationship. Try to get to know each other better, establish a more trusting relationship, open up to your partner. Trying to get emotionally close will give you an understanding of whether to continue a relationship or not.
Now that we know what it is, we know emotional attraction signs, and the difference between physical and emotional attraction, let’s talk about the process of creating emotional attraction.
How should one create emotional attraction with their partner?
1. Define and give a name to your feelings
The first step to defining your feelings is recognizing that you have them in the first place. Many men and some women cannot understand whether they feel anything at all to their partners. When you ask them how you feel, you hear the answer, "I do not know." If you are a living person, then you have feelings, you just have to define their nature.
2. Tell about your feelings to your partner
As soon as you understand how you feel, share it with your partner. They want to know you better, and feelings are a part of you. You cannot share what you do not know. Learn to recognize your feelings to establish a connection with a partner, but you have to establish a connection with yourself first.
3. Practice the exercise when only one person talks
This exercise helps a person express their thoughts or perceptions, and the other person listens attentively and repeats what they hear. If they understood each other correctly, then the partners change roles. If not, then you need to try to explain what you wanted again.
4. Make the time you spend together count
If you are together, then you should be together emotionally, physically, and spiritually. You must be present for each other at any given moment when your partner needs you the most.
5. Your partner should be your best friend
How to create emotional attraction with a man? Find a way to make your partner feel that they are the most important thing in the world to you. Immediately answer their calls. Send them pleasant messages throughout the day. Show your imagination.
6. Keep your promises
How to create emotional attraction with women? Women love men that are reliable and responsible for their actions. If you say that you will cut the lawn tomorrow, do it. If you are not going to take out the garbage before work, do not say that you will do it. Live up to your own words.
7. Love your partner as they are
How to trigger emotional attraction with men? There is no need to point out the weaknesses of your partner since they probably already know about them. Take them as they are, with all of the problems and quirks they may have. Do not forget that you love them and thus, you should forgive the little things that they may do, annoying you from time to time.
8. Encourage your partner with words and actions
Be on a positive wave and help your partner become better. They, in turn, will help you become the best version of yourself.