How to Fix a Relationship After Lying

24.03.2019

No one is pleased to feel deceived. Lies spoil any relationship. It is especially insulting to realize that deception comes from a loved person. In this case, a lie is perceived as a betrayal, and it often becomes the cause of breakups. However, it is possible to fight with lies. So, how to behave and what to do when someone lies to you in a relationship?

How to Deal with Lies in a Relationship?

Big and small lies in a relationship are neither good nor bad. This is a normal phenomenon, formed many hundreds of thousands of years. But still, how to get over lies in a relationship? Psychologists claim that an open struggle will not bring the desired result. It is necessary to act competently and deliberately. It is important to show certain qualities and develop an appropriate model of behavior.

Understand the nature of lies. Of course, no one likes lies in a relationship, but you should understand that if a partner lied, he/she had reasons for it. Maybe it is the so-called white lies in a relationship. Maybe it is better not to know the truth. If you want to have a relationship in which there is absolutely no lie, then you should work on it purposefully and diligently. To do this, learn and actively use techniques that develop trust and build close contact. Trust is the basis of relationships.

Talk to a partner. How lying affects relationships? Sometimes there can be a scandal because of the lies of one of the partners. Moreover, some people derive pleasure from this process, and they consider it to be an effective influence on the behavior of their partners. But in fact, scandals have a short-term effect on liars who, after such a storm of emotions, may linger for a while, but they will later begin to lie again, moreover, will do it more sophisticatedly. They will start thinking out every word before saying it to their partners not to get caught in a lie.

Mirror your partner’s behavior. For example, your woman lies, and you can do the same in response. Over time, she will understand why this is happening and will think about her behavior. Most of the women can’t stand when their men lie. And in this case, she will have no choice but to stop mutual lies.

Accept your partners as they are. All normal women and men want to be loved and understood by their loved ones. They get pleasure when partners are happy with their successes and share their hobbies. Especially it concerns women. Don’t stop your woman if she is going to go shopping – it is better to go shopping with her. If she is tired after work and decides not to cook dinner, then hug her and just order pizza. Does your girlfriend like to knit? Give her as a gift a knitting set. In this case, a woman will not want to lie to such an understanding and caring man.

Be frank with her. It is impossible to build happiness with lying and deception in relationships. Openness to dialogue should be on both sides. Only in this case, mutual understanding can be achieved. If you nitpick your woman for the most innocent lie, you will not achieve anything other than her isolation and unwillingness to tell you about something. If a man trusts a woman, then it will be easier for her to tell the truth, no matter how unpleasant or contradictory it is. Partners must remember: the more trusting their relationships are, the stronger they are.

Where does the desire to lie come from? Unfortunately, in most cases, we let a person understand that he/she can do this to us. Therefore, no matter how much you trust, show that your kindness and soulfulness have boundaries. How to overcome baseless doubts? Sometimes it also happens that after all the checks, it turns out that a partner is not lying, and all the problems are made-up. Most likely, the problem lies in your character or in the indifference to a partner.

How to Detect Lies in a Relationship?

A lie is peculiar to every person. And according to evolutionary scientists, this is our nature. And whatever the nature of men and women is, no one likes lies. Each of us suffers from it. How to understand that your partner is deceiving you? Maybe something went wrong in your relationship, and he/she was forced to do so. However, what should you do if this has happened? There are a number of signs that make it easy to understand that a woman or a man is lying.

Ask your friends to help. Relatives, friends or strangers have a supernatural ability to detect when something goes wrong in other people’s relationships. It turns out that psychologists have come to the conclusion that a simple observation of a couple’s joint pastime helps an outsider determine if one of them is unhappy. People make surprisingly accurate judgments about others in various situations just after a short observation of their behavior.

Watch how much time your partner spends on social networks. Does your woman spend more time with her phone than with you? Recent studies have shown that people who are overly active on social networks are more prone to lies, which can lead to cheating. For example, people who use social media more than an hour a day for 5 days are more prone to conflict with their partners, divorce or deception.

Watch out for sudden changes in behavior. If you have been dating with your woman for some time, then, most likely, you know how she usually behaves – what products she prefers, how she reacts to surprises when she is lying in relationships, and so on. Abrupt changes in body language can be markers of dualistic behavior. When you are nervous or feel some tension, your body unconsciously reacts to these changes.

Ask different questions. The real sign of lies are all sorts of distractions of a woman when you ask her an uncomfortable direct question and wait for an answer. A woman who lies to you urgently needs to check the phone, turn on the TV, drink water, etc. So, she comes up with a plausible story or an answer that may please you. Asking something like, “How was your day?” you get an extremely banal answer, although you can guess that everything is not so simple. Perhaps there is a lie behind this.

Try to catch a partner in a lie. It is no secret that a woman who lies constantly is inclined to forget the details of her previous lies. In fact, it is not easy to memorize and store in memory such a large array of information. Our brain is set up in such a way as to periodically get rid of mental debris – you can’t argue with nature as well as fool it. That is why liars often forget the details of their previous lies, in which they are easy to catch.

Try to manipulate the emotions of your partner. How else to understand that a woman is lying? When a woman realizes that you don’t believe her, she tries to cause a sense of guilt in you for not trusting her words. Thus, she distracts you from the subject of lies, switching your attention to a negative emotion. Sometimes she may resort to direct manipulation, using quotes about lies in a relationship, i.e. sending you messages or changing her status on Facebook where she writes big words.

Watch the mood of the partner. If you don’t know how you can find out whether your woman is lying or not, then watch her mood. If she has started thinking about something all the time, then she probably thinks about the “plan B.” Of course, such a phenomenon can’t be considered as a key one because a person can think about anything, however, this can also take place.

How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship After Lies?

When the heart is broken, it is extremely difficult to fix it. It is easy to lose trust, and it is the hardest work to return it. Without trust, it is impossible to create a happy relationship. “I don’t believe my partner!” – This phrase can often be heard in a conversation between two friends or at an appointment with a psychologist. How to learn to trust a person who lied to you? It is necessary to do this to restore harmony in relationships. How to start trusting a woman and not be afraid that there will be a place for lies in your married life?

Believe only facts, not speculation. It is easy to say, “I don’t trust her!” Just for a start, it will be nice to find out whether there is a reason for jealousy. A delay after work, meeting with friends or talking on the phone with a friend are not signs of lies, but quite normal life situations. How to learn to trust women or men who lie in relationships? If the fact of lying is proven, you need to decide for yourself whether to continue a relationship. If you don’t want to break up, then you need to forgive and believe your partner. If a woman genuinely repents, doesn’t want to lose her loved one, proving her intentions not in words but in deeds, you shouldn’t lose her.

Think optimistic. How to fix a relationship after lying? Don’t come up with horrible stories and distract from disturbing thoughts. Take lies as a mistake that anyone can make. Don’t increase control, but on the contrary, give your partner a certain share of freedom. By this, you will tie your partner much stronger, earning respect in his or her eyes.

Don’t listen to the stories of friends about people who always lie. Stop total control over each step of a woman, show that you believe her, and you will be deeply hurt if she doesn’t justify the confidence shown. Don’t forbid her to communicate with other people. Also, to rebuild trust in a relationship, make friends among women. After a bad experience, this will allow you to stop perceiving women as something dangerous and alien.

Be patient. You know how lying destroys relationships. After a serious deception, feelings undergo serious changes. Try to figure out whether you need to maintain a relationship. If the answer is positive, think what you have to overcome to regain trust and sincerity. It is necessary to act as carefully and gently as possible, a lot of strength is required. You can’t hurry, intimidate, forcing a partner to forget about the problem and manipulate her weaknesses.

Don’t start a scandal immediately. Yes, lies and relationships are not always compatible. But serious decisions shouldn’t be made at the moment of rage. Subsequently, you may regret the hasty breakup. Think over the situation and pleasant moments of life. Weigh all the pros and cons.

Start living a full life. It is very easy to fall into suspicion when you have no interests at all. You completely dissolve in your woman, and if she tries to rest for a while, you worry. The only way out is to learn to spend time without her: find a cool hobby for yourself, go to the bar with your friends, and so on. There are plenty of options – the main thing is to learn to “get detached” of your partner and enjoy freedom.